What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
