guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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