I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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