Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
