Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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