At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
