on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm always down for nudity.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
