I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Panties = found
Randomize