I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
