you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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