So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
