If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My breasts were aching with rage.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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