So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
