I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
