I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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