ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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