Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
