Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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