I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
