so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
