Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
