I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
