You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
