I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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