She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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