Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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