All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
