I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
