This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
