Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
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Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
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you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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