no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
