dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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