She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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