If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
