She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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