Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
