drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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