Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
