he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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