R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
