Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
