Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
