He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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