I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
