but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
