Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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