Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
