dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
