I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
