Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I did not marry a roomba.
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