Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
