There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize