addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
