So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize