bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just sent this text using only my big toe
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
