we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
