i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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