Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
But break dance skills will only take you so far
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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