After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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