Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
