just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
