ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
