I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
BRING THE BAGELS
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
